My dear pastor, Teddy Steele, is expected to slip into heaven tonight; another dear friend will hear Friday if tests show she has leukemia; several weeks ago another dear friend shared with me the horror of her dying marriage. It seems that pain is the one unifying, universal aspect of humanity. During your darkest days, have you ever wondered, WHERE IS GOD???? I know I have. And I know you have, too. I know it's not something we'll all cop to, but I know we all doubt God in the hard times. But, I'm writing this blog to assure you that God is right in the middle of the trauma...looking out for our eternal good. Twenty-four long, long years of never ending chronic pain has forced me to test this belief, and though my faith is still tested and tried weekly, I can still say GOD Is THERE. To that one belief this blog is devoted; I hope to be a reassuring voice for you during the bad times and help to bolster your faith in a loving and involved God.
Last week was one of those weeks when I had tied the knot on the end of the proverbial rope and felt myself slipping off. I walked to the kitchen to get some water, slammed my glass on the counter and sent up a "flare prayer". I told the Lord I could NOT live with this pain any more...I was done trying to...it seemed pointless to keep trying to cope!! I told Him that I desperately needed help. Then, I heard my dog at the back door, so I swung open the inner door and reached to open the clear security door. At that precise moment, a very beautiful full moon came into view, perfectly framed between the branches of some big oaks across the street. Of course, it lit up the dark night sky, a sight I've enjoyed many ltimes in 54 years.
But this time was different. I heard in my heart the voice of my dear Shepherd saying to me,
"Linda, I will light the way for you through this dark moment...I am lighting up the sky so you can see that no darkness can overcome Me." And I can tell you that a peace came into my weary heart. Did the pain stop? No. Did the torment of fear and helplessness stop? YES!
And that , my fellow warriors, is true victory over pain. Keep pressing on!