Sometimes, I think it's never going to end. That this problem is a life long trial, and I just want to scream, "Let it be over!!!". In fact, this very overwhelming feeling had me put a loaded gun to my head some years ago...sobbing that I wanted to die to escape the pain. But, mercifully, I was able to hear the soft, gentle voice of my Savior say, "want you REALLY want is TO LIVE". That completely began to change my perspective...instead of asking God "why?" I began to ask Him "what?". What is the purpose of my suffering? what is God trying to do with my life that, frankly, seemed over to me. Well, I discovered the great and eternal purpose. See if you can discover it in the words of my all time favorite song by Keith Getty:
"Jesus draw me ever nearer as I labor through the storm.
You have called me to this passage and I'll follow though I'm worn.
Jesus guide me through the tempest, keep my spirit staid and sure,
When the midnight mets the morning, let me love you even more
May the treasures of the trial form within me as I go;
And at the end of this long passage, let me leave them at your throne.
May this journey bring a blessing, may I rise on wings of faith.
And at the end of my heart's testing, in your likeness let me wake!"
You see the whole point of my sorrow (and yours) is that God uses it to bring out the traits of Jesus in me... You know the "fruits of the Spirit"... Love, joy peace, gentleness, etc.
With that outcome being developed in us, we are more peaceful, kind etc., and others begin to see Christ in us more and more. It's a win win situation. Does it make my suffering easier; truthfully, no. But more importantly, it gives it great purpose and value so it is really worth it to endure it.
Keep pressing on!